Lessons in Servant Leadership - Dinner with Abbot Damien - Part 4

Part 4 of a 4 part series from Lt. Matt Kosec AMCA Adjunct Partner of Criminal Justice and Public Sector Affairs, from his week of graduate studies in advanced servant leadership in a Benedictine Monastery.

“The servant always accepts and empathizes, never rejects. The servant as leader always empathizes, always accepts the person but sometimes refuses to accept some of the person’s effort or performance as good enough.”

-Robert K. Greenleaf

When I first arrived at St. Andrew's Abbey it was impossible not to notice one or more of the 21 monks walking around in their distinctive black habits.  Having never spent any time at a monastery I quickly lumped them into my image of a monk; pious, sincere, and forgiving.  In my mind they were, of course, nearly perfect.  How ironic -  I bristle when someone lumps me into all of law enforcement when they see me in uniform.  How easily one forgets.  These pre-suppositions can also happen when we revere someone in a formal leadership position.  It can be forgotten that they are individuals with personal struggles just like the rest of us.

The Rule of Benedict by which Benedictine monks structure their communities provides great power and authority to the Abbot.  The Abbot is described as an individual who will be held accountable for the salvation of all members of the community.  His raw power is balanced with an admonishment to always take counsel with all community members when making a decision and to use disciplinary power cautiously.  The Abbot is elected by all of the monks, although there is no campaign associated with modern elections.  In fact, an individual cannot be nominated or nominate himself.  He is purely chosen by the community.  As one of our instructors, John Horsman, Ph. D, described, “If you want the job, you probably aren't eligible.”

St. Andrew's Abbey is led by Abbot Damien.  He is only four months into an eight year term.  The monks honored us with a celebration dinner on the last night of our stay.  Unlike the other meals taken in the same refectory but at separate tables from the monks, the festival dinner was purposefully set up so students would be interspersed with the monks.  I was one of the last students to walk in and I noticed that while my fellow students had eagerly sat near and engaged the monks, Abbot Damien sat somewhat alone at the head of the table.  I decided this was an excellent time to challenge my pre-suppositions concerning the formal leader of this organization.

The monks of St. Andrew's Abbey were consummate hosts, and Abbot Damien was no exception.  Like the other monks, he was soft-spoken and chose his words precisely.  Once again I found myself listening very carefully and finding profound wisdom in nearly every word (well, except his one joke about Texas).  The Abbot and I were able to quickly engage in a conversation about the parallels between monks and police officers, including my aforementioned discussion on my assumptions on monks and the monastic life.

Another monk had told me that an individual had spent three years at the community, the typical time before a monk takes his final vows.  The individual was ready to commit to the community and had dreamed of doing so his entire life.  He was prepared for the ultimate vow of stability.  The problem was, however, the community had decided that he was not a right fit.  A monk must be accepted by the entire community, not just the Abbot.  This was explained to the individual and he finally left.  Abbot Damien had made the final decision.

This event weighed heavily on Abbot Damien.  He had contemplated, prayed, and consulted extensively.  He understood that a decision to decline acceptance to the community would not only be heartbreaking to the individual, but it could also be misconstrued as commentary on his self-worth, piety, and commitment.  None of those were in question; it was simply a matter of the community being able to make a lifelong commitment.  Remember, these monks live, eat, and work every moment of their lives together.

Abbot Damien said that although it was an incredibly difficult decision to make, he knew he made the right one because it would benefit the individual in the long run.  He knew it would require courage to have faith that this individual would have been disappointed with monastic life in this particular community.  While Abbot Damien had to protect the best interest of the community, his bigger concern was the welfare of the individual.  It was one of the most difficult decisions he had ever had to make because of the person's lifelong commitment and dream of belonging to this religious order.

I drew another parallel with law enforcement.  It is not uncommon for police departments to hire people who have held a lifelong dream of being a police officer.  Often they purposefully studied criminal justice and took extensive steps to prepare themselves.  On occasion, however, after the long academy and field training process they are separated from the organization.  There are many reasons why it happens, but sometimes the newly hired officer cannot understand why they are being terminated.  Like Abbot Damien, however, the police manager who makes the decision often does so with the best interest of both the department and the individual in mind.

One of my fellow Gonzaga University students, Andrew Burns, gave an excellent toast in which he listed character traits that we, as students, felt the monks helped us to form and develop.  Afterward, Abbot Damien confided in me that he was uncomfortable when Andrew noted these traits.  He explained that he did not think the monks provided this insight – he felt that all of us had carried those traits into the monastery with us.  I thought for a moment and I agreed with him, however, I also suggested that he and his monks had drawn out those quality traits from within each of us.  The monks, through their awareness and leadership, had called forth these traits and made us more whole.  Abbot Damien chuckled and said, “You are right, but you know what Matt?  You guys have also done that for us, as monks.  That is why we love having you.”  As an Abbot who carries heavy weight when making decisions about his people and who understands capacity to call forth the best of each person, Abbot Damien is clearly a servant leader from whom I learned a great deal from.

There is one other important point to note about this dinner conversation.  When you sit next to the Abbot, you have access to the best beers in the room.  And naturally, out of sheer politeness, I could not refuse his offer of a giant slice of chocolate cake.

Abbot Damien & Matt Kosec


Photo Credit: Sarah Medary

Lessons in Servant Leadership - Courage in Growth - Part 3

Part 3 of a 4 part series from Lt. Matt Kosec AMCA Adjunct Partner of Criminal Justice and Public Sector Affairs, from his week of graduate studies in advanced servant leadership in a Benedictine Monastery.

“…the servant views any problem in the world as in here, inside oneself, not out there. And if a flaw in the world is to be remedied, to the servant the process of change starts in here, in the servant, not out there.”

-Robert K. Greenleaf




Another day, another monk.  Not unlike the other times I have spent with monks, today's interview with Brother Gene was extremely rewarding.  I have learned that once a monk takes his vows he no longer uses his birth name.  Instead, he provides a list of three Saints from which the Abbot either picks, or the Abbot can assign a different name.  While I am not familiar with the vast array of Saints, I didn't think “Gene” sounded like a Saint.  My hunch was right – Brother Gene has only been with the community for 48 days and thus he is still uses his birth name. 

I quickly realized that Brother Gene would provide wonderful insight as a newcomer, but it was made even more valuable by his experiences in his previous life.  Not long ago Gene was a high ranking official in a private corporation.  At St. Andrew's Abbey new monks are encouraged to retain their worldly possessions for the first couple stages, just in case.  Gene did not believe he could be committed with this rescue net beneath him – he gave away his $170,000 a year job, BMW 750i, 3,000 square foot house, and cashed in his entire retirement account before entering the monastery (see previous post on vow of stability!).

Although it is easy to project the concept of near-perfection upon a monk, once you spend some personal time with them you quickly discover their ease in admitting flaws and weaknesses.  A monastery is a community of imperfect individuals, and thus it is not surprising that conflicts can develop.  When I asked Gene how interpersonal conflict is handled in the monastery he courageously shared the story of a monk who was making mean and disheartening comments to him.  Clearly it hurt Gene.  He had poured his heart into the community and this individual was making him feel unwelcome, so much that he even questioned his decision to join a religious order.

Brother Gene prayed, meditated, and consulted mentors.  He described an epiphany that showed courage of heart; this situation was an opportunity to learn something about himself as well one of his brothers.  He admitted his first reaction was, “Well screw you!”  His revelation, however, was that this was an opportunity to learn about himself.  He took personal responsibility for the situation and discovered that while it was uncomfortable and hurtful, the individual's comments revealed a flaw within himself.  He stated it was an opportunity to become more whole.  Additionally, he viewed it as an opportunity to love his brother more deeply.  He consulted with other monks who better helped him understand this particular peer.  He feels as though he grew and become a better individual through this communal experience.

The servant leader views every problem in the world as beginning within themselves.  What can I do to better this situation or problem?  If I am in fact imperfect, then what flaw does this situation reveal about myself and in what ways can I grow?  It takes courage to move past emotional reactions and towards forgiveness.  As Brother Gene discovered, it can take time, mentorship from respected leaders and counselors, and careful self-reflection.  It also takes humility to understand that admitting a flaw does not compromise your position or status in the world.  If anything, it makes you a more complete individual and member of the community.  Brother Gene's humility in handling this situation is a model for any individual on the lifelong journey of servant leadership.

As a new member, one of Brother Gene's responsibilities is to ring the bell that notifies the community of worship services five times daily. Yes, that is ear protection he is wearing!


Photo Credit: Sarah Medary

Lessons in Servant Leadership - Vow of Stability - Part 2

Part 2 of a 4 part series from Lt. Matt Kosec AMCA Adjunct Partner of Criminal Justice and Public Sector Affairs, from his week of graduate studies in advanced servant leadership in a Benedictine Monastery.

“…the only authority deserving one’s allegiance is that which is freely and knowingly granted by the led to the leader in response to, and in proportion to, the clearly evident servant stature of the leader.”

-Robert K. Greenleaf


Day two of experiential learning at St. Andrew's Abbey, a Benedictine monastery, has been filled with more discovery of the unique relationship between the individual and community.  It is a rare situation when an individual can successfully live in solitude.  The earliest monks fled the city and lived alone in  caves.  While these conditions would seem to nurture self-discovery, it actually led many of them to “monk-rage,” a condition of insanity.  During my days at this abbey I have not seen monk-rage, although one monk got pretty mad when one of my classmates dropped and broke a ceramic gift.

The Benedictines learned long ago that organizational mission is much easier to accomplish in community.  However, community is not built by merely placing individuals together.  The foundation of Benedictine community is a “vow of stability.”  This is the commitment a monk makes not to God (that would have already been addressed to make it to this stage), but to the community of fellow monks.  It is a commitment that says, “I am staying here until I die, I will not leave when times get tough, I am here for the long term.”  One of the instructors this morning, Michael Carey Ph. D, suggested that relationships are difficult to build if we are constantly worried about the other party leaving or backing out of the agreement.  Thus, when a monk wrongs another they understand that eventually it must be dealt with.  Much to my surprise, yes, monks wrong each other.  While I was expecting a much more gentle explanation, Father Isaac told me this morning, “Monks can be assholes, too.”  Underlying the forgiveness is a trust in the vow to one another.

In my organization, the Carrollton Police Department, officers do not make a lifelong oath to the organization.  They do, however, take an oath in which they commit to protecting the community and making personal sacrifices.  This oath is not unlike the Benedictine vow of stability.  But how does this apply to an organizational sense?  It seems unreasonable for an organization to ask for a lifetime commitment, right?

What I have come to understand is that while an organization cannot ask for a lifetime vow, the leaders of an organization can ask for a here-and-now commitment.  It is not an unreasonable request of employees to be honest, transparent, and committed to the mission of the organization - today.  Good leaders do this, but it is often with mixed results.  Why do employees sometimes fail to fully commit?  I believe it is often because the organization, or the formal leadership of the organization, fails to uphold their part of the vow of stability.  It is unreasonable to ask for such a lofty commitment from an employee when the organization does not proving an equal commitment of stability.

In Saint Benedict's Rule the Abbot is the highest official of the monastery.  Benedict is clear the Abbot has absolute authority in managing the monastery.  However, he is careful to tell the Abbot this power should be used in moderation and cautiously.  Most importantly, the Abbot is reminded that he is to provide for all of the needs of the monks, leaving them with no unreasonable want.  The logic, according to Benedict, is that if the monks' needs are met they will be able to focus on the mission of the organization.  Thus, while Benedictine monasticism does require a vow of stability from the monk, the organization also makes a reciprocal and equally important commitment.

To the servant leader this should sound like a familiar concept.  Like the Abbot of the monastery, the servant leader understands that he or she must strive to always help their constituents become, as Greenleaf said, freer, wiser, and more autonomous.  The would-be servant leader who finds themselves as a manger or CEO of a modern organization may not be able to provide for all the wants and needs of their employees.  Shrinking budgets and shareholder expectations often make this impossible.  However, this does not mean the leader cannot make a commitment to the employee to always have them in the forefront of mind.  Vows are built on trust, and trust is earned.  Only then can the leader reasonably expect their constituent to join them in a vow of stability.

A monk’s vow of stability includes burial in the St. Andrew’s Abbey Cemetery.

Lessons in Servant Leadership from a Monk - Part 1

Part 1 of a 4 part series from Lt. Matt Kosec AMCA Adjunct Partner of Criminal Justice and Public Sector Affairs, from his week of graduate studies in advanced servant leadership in a Benedictine Monastery.


“…only a true natural servant automatically responds to any problem by listening first…The best test of whether we are communicating at this depth is to ask ourselves first: Are we really listening?”

-Robert K. Greenleaf


One of the major advantages of being a graduate student is the freedom of new experiences in the name of one's studies.  This advantage is even more pronounced in the Gonzaga University Masters of Arts in Organizational Leadership program.  Stuffy classrooms saturated with dry lecture from a Ph. D. who has not seen the inner workings of an organization for thirty years have been replaced with one week retreats at a working monastery in California.  And now you ask, “What?!  A monastery?”

I am writing from St. Andrew's Abbey in Valyermo, California.  “In” is used very loosely – I find myself in the high desert far from civilization.  I may be away from the towns and cities we disingenuously call “communities,” but I am right in the middle of a healthy (albeit imperfect) community.

The course is called “Leadership and Community.”  The purpose of the course is to examine, “the dynamics of the development of the self within the context of community, as developed by Benedict of Nursia in the 6^th century and practiced by Benedictine monasteries in the 21^st century.”  The goal is to understand how a guiding document written over 1,500 years ago provides the foundation for healthy community.  More importantly, I am to take my monastic experience and learn how I can apply it to life in a secular organization.

I had a hard time seeing this application at 6:00AM as I observed the monks chanting at “Vigils.”  The 7:30AM “Lauds” did not provide any more clarity.  Had I given up my entire week for an experience that is too abstract for a non-Catholic to understand?  And then I met Brother Bede.  Brother Bede is one year into his initial three year commitment (its a life commitment at the next stage).  In my profession he would be called a “rookie.”  Brother Bede's wisdom, however, far exceeds his 33 years of age.  I took part in a one hour question and answer and then was privileged to work in the monastery library with him.  I would have thought it impossible to learn so much about the relationship between an individual and a community in such a short time from only one man.  I was proved wrong.

Brother Bede started by explaining his opinion that in the pursuit of one primary goal many other things of greatness can be accomplished.  It is critical, however, to never forget the primary goal.  For Brother Bede and his fellow monks the primary goal is a spiritual relationship, but so many other appreciable things have come from monastic life.  I was quick to point out my favorite monastic by-product of salvation - beer brewed by monks.  The message is that leaders must never lose focus of their primary goal, but also be able to appreciate the accomplishments of the journey along the way.

Brother Bede pointed out that the first word in Saint Benedict's rule is “Listen,” standing on its own.  He reminded us that in Benedict's time economy of words were important due to inaccessibility of paper.  Bede explained how he has learned to “listen to life.”  He recognized that in his previous life he did not have many true discussions with others, instead calling them “mutual interruptions.”  He advocated a “listening attitude” to life.  When value is placed on words and we break through the constant bombardment of wasted words, wisdom is found.  Robert Greenleaf described this as the servant leader's aspiration to always “listen first.”  Last night the “grand silence” started at around 9:00 PM; no talking is allowed at the monastery until after breakfast the next day.  It was definitely awkward, but as soon as I was allowed to talk I began to better appreciate the economy of words, and I felt more purposeful in making the words meaningful.  Could you imagine an organization that was founded on such purposeful and mindful communication?

It is easy to be lulled into the perception that the monastic community of St. Andrew's Abbey is perfect.  Brother Bede was careful to point out that it was not.  What was important, however, is that the organization continues to evolve and grow better. Sometimes this comes with pain and suffering.  The struggle is to find what principles cannot be sacrificed (for the monk, their relationship with God), and which need to evolve for the health of the community.  For example, Saint Benedict advocated infrequent bathing, a vegetarian diet, and the constant wearing of the monk's habit.  All of these areas have evolved, and while Brother Bede noted there exists debate in the community, he noted that debate was a result of growth.  It makes me wonder what areas in my organization are sacred and shall never be sacrificed, but which one's need to evolve for the welfare of the community and to help members of the organization better accomplish that which is sacred.

I thought I would have to struggle to translate the monastic vision of a community into the organizational sense.  Brother Bede shattered that perception and laid it out before my eyes.  I look forward to continuing to learn from the wisdom of an organization that is over 1,500 years old.  Oh, and by the way, monastic chocolate cake is phenomenal!

Lt. Matt Kosec



The Reflection Pond of St. Andrew’s Abbey