A Master Teacher of Servant-Leadership through Caregiving: Larry Kinard

by Duane Trammell

Many of our Clients and friends are baby boomers who are caring for aging and ailing parents now. When this happened to me, I remarked…”they should have had a college course in this. I could have used it much more than Algebra.” But somehow, the right people come into our lives when we need them. Larry Kinard has been one of those special people.



Larry was a former manager who worked for TXU (now Luminant) and was in one of our servant leadership development classes for several years. We always liked Larry—he was bright, positive, insightful, witty, and always added dimension to the business challenges we tackled with his colleagues.


Fast forward to 2005. Larry’s life changed. His wife Marty, an educational psychologist had two debilitating strokes. Larry’s fulltime job became caring for Marty which included helping Marty through illnesses, navigating through doctor’s appointments, studying symptoms, treatments, care plans and how to do all the caretaking stuff. Anyone who has done full-time caregiving knows that it demands everything you have mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually…and then some more…and even more. Larry, in his compassion, simply calls it his “Doctor of Marty degree.”


Thanks to facebook, we reconnected with Larry and I came across his blog, “What I Learn from Marty.” In an incredibly humble, sincere, thought-provoking, tearful, humorous, educating, and spiritual (although he wouldn’t take credit for that) way, Larry chronicles the daily adventures of caring for a loved one who can’t care completely for herself.

Things sometimes come to us at exactly the right moment. For 15 years, I cared for my Mom in and out of illnesses. For 12 years, she lived with my Partner and me. In the last three years of her life it became more complex, challenging, and demanding. When I would be exhausted from an E.R. trip or frustrated or simply feeling sorry for myself, I would read one of Larry’s blogs. And it would help. Sometimes he would respond to a facebook post with words of support and encouragement. My caregiving ended over eighteen months ago, but his continues each day.

What I admire so much in Larry is that he not only cares for Marty, his beloved, but he also shares the most vulnerable part of himself with all of his readers—the little things he finds joy and meaning in AND the doubts, fears, anxieties, and frustrations that come with the territory. I look forward to Larry’s blog posts, although sometimes they are emotionally challenging to read. They evoke feelings, memories, and make me look at myself in ways that I wouldn’t otherwise. And when I want to bolster up my own servant leadership skills, I learn from Larry and his daily journey. Thanks, Larry.

Larry Kinard’s Blog “What I Learn from Marty” can be found at: http://martytalks.blogspot.com/

A Taste of Servant Leadership

If you go to Celebration Restaurant expecting excellent food and outstanding service, you will leave happy and satisfied. You will, however, have just experienced the two more visible reasons for the success of Celebration. The back story is that Celebration Restaurant and Market is a servant leadership organization.
There are many examples of how Ed Lowe and his partners have implemented servant leadership in both their professional and personal lives. One that comes to mind now is the story of Celebration’s Farmers’ Market which reopened for the 2011 season on April 30th. This story demonstrates two-way accountability, empowering people to be successful, and making a difference for the people served.
 
Celebration has long supported local farmers by serving their produce in the restaurant. The team began to discuss ways to strengthen this support and hit on the idea of a farmers’ market. Then because of the demands of work, the idea stalled. Finally Leah Ferraro, the manager of the Market, asked Ed about the status of the Farmers’ Market and when he told her he had been too busy to move on it, she asked two questions: l. Why hadn’t he asked for help? and 2. Would it be okay for her to take over the project? Ed gratefully turned it over to her and then supported her all the way.

Leah soon found that the easy part was lining up the vendors to come while the hard part was dealing with the City of Dallas. She kept running up against different stories as to what permits she needed, only to finally learn that the permit she was told to get didn’t actually exist. There were clear regulations for the large Dallas Farmers’ Market but all sorts of contradictory rules for the smaller ones. covering such things as health insurance, vendor fees and number of vendors. Leah eventually partnered up with some of the other smaller community markets to go before the city and change the regulations for these smaller markets. All along the way, she had the support and advice from Ed and her other Celebration partners.

Making a Difference: Servant Leadership in Action

Written by Nicole Lowe, Public Safety Telecommunication Supervisor, Carrollton Police Department



As we all know, servant leaders are found throughout an organization. They are not all at the top of the hierarchy. Nicole Lowe, a dispatcher for the Carrollton Police Department is a great example of a servant leader who positively impacts the people she works with as well as the rest of the police department and the Carrollton community.




Imagine yourself in a fire and police telecommunications center. Telephones constantly ringing, fire fighters and police officers demanding your attention on the radios, and monitoring three or four computer displays at once. Oh, and by the way, one minor misstep or miscommunication could cost a life! With all of this communication going on, you could imagine that communicating between telecommunication shifts or with other organizational departments would be an afterthought. We thought differently, however, and decided that a newsletter could be a perfect communication tool not only to communicate between shifts, but to our external stakeholders. Everyone wonders about the people behind the double blue doors. Who are we? Why did we choose to be a dispatcher? What is a day in the life of a dispatcher like? I decided we were about to show them.



I borrowed the newsletter idea from a co-worker that was a part-time employee at the time. I just so happened to observe her putting the finishing touches on the newsletter for the other company where she was employed. After asking her a few questions, I decided we needed a newsletter. At the time the newsletter was created, overtime was an everyday occurrence. Everyone came to work knowing they would have to work 12 hours. Other city employees would always express their gratitude and how sorry they felt for us. At first, I was glad to hear appreciation and concern from other city employees, and then I realized they thought we were overworked and didn’t enjoy our jobs.



I quickly sent the management team an e-mail asking them if they were okay with me creating a departmental newsletter. After I got the green light, I began soliciting feedback, ideas, and help from my co-workers. Since I borrowed the idea from Michelle, I asked her questions every chance I could get. She would always give me good tips and advice. The first newsletter was put together in 2 weeks. I remember Dustie and me working hard to come up with material for it. Michelle and I worked on the design part. To be honest, I think everyone helped me get the first newsletter out.

I think everyone was excited about our first newsletter.  I received a lot of positive feedback and helpful tips from my co-workers.  Since there had been a lot of projects that had been started and then stopped, everyone was waiting to see how long the newsletter would last.  I had already made up my mind that it was here to stay and I was willing to put in all the work.  I tried to make sure that I took the good and bad criticism in stride.  I didn’t want anything negative associated with our newsletter. I was always excited when I learned something new and when I sent the newsletter out every month. I began to see how “team” spirit grows.



That was three-and-a-half years ago. Now, 40 issues later, we have received two awards and had a lot of fun. I even spoke at a


professional conference to share how we use our newsletter to keep everyone in on what’s going on, build a caring, high-trust community and both model and teach servant leadership. By listening for questions and unmet needs we have been able to have some fun giving our leaders a voice in our newsletter and helping to turn problems into opportunity.

The CPD Newsletter staff

Tamara Perez, Rashahn Chatwin, Lori Ponder, Nicole Lowe & Cheryl Bramlett

Life/Work Balance: The Secret of Always Having Something Fun to Anticipate!

At the most recent Southwest Airlines Culture Committee Meeting, my good friend Scott Andrezjwski, who is an Aircraft Mechanic for Southwest Airlines, told me he had taken up a new hobby and was really enjoying it. Our team has been doing research for strategies to create and maintain extraordinary Life/Work Balance so my curiosity was eager to learn more. When I asked what triggered this change in his life, he shared the following story:

“To answer your question about daring myself to learn to play the piano.....You are to blame, Ann! Yes you! After last year’s Culture Committee Meeting that found you doing your playful, and not-so-polished tap dance in front of the group (as you said just like kids would do in a spontaneous show in the backyard), you asked us what our childhood dreams might be that we never had the courage to act on. I took that thought home. Besides my dream of becoming the next quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, I always had a fascination with the piano. I don't know why. No one in my family played. In fact, I didn't know anyone that had a piano or played it. I'm racking my brain right now and still cannot think of why I liked the piano. I have never had a music lesson of any kind. I sang in the choir in Middle School, but that was about the extent of my musical talent. So, since my professional sports days are long past, I dared myself to learn piano. I guess it was my New Year Resolution.

I knew I wouldn’t find the time for individual lessons, so I found http://www.learnpianoonline.com. It didn't cost very much, so I joined. I purchased a very inexpensive keyboard. I figured if I didn't like it, I could always give it to a niece or nephew as a gift. My investment is minimal; I just have to find the time. I do it at home, at my own pace, without any pressure. It has been fun and Challenging!


I'm about midway through the lesson plan. The further along it goes, the harder it gets. I can actually read music now. That in itself is remarkable, but I still have a long way to go. I can play any beginners music now. Simple stuff like: “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” “On Top of Old Smokey,” “Skip to My Lou,” and “Jingle Bells.” It's been fun, but I wish life wouldn't get in the way so much. Our jobs, homes, family, relationships and hobbies take way to much time out of the day. Maybe that's why we all long to be that kid again. Life was so much easier back then.


Hopefully I will finish all the lessons. If I do, maybe I'll play my first recital during a Culture meeting. Whether I do or don’t perform for all our friends at Southwest Airlines, I’ll still have a fun new way to keep my life energized. It’s been fun learning and creating something new, something outside my comfort zone. I’ll keep you informed of my progress.”

I encouraged Scott to remember to enjoy this new interest purely for the fun of it and not with the expectations of mastery that he brings to his work as a top-notch Aircraft Mechanic. As kids, we only stuck with new interests as long as they were fun and that was a big part of the magic. Can you recall that sense of enticing pleasure and adventure?


I am remembering a great story from our good friend, Ed Platt, and electrical engineer who was then Plant Manager at a very demanding power plant in Central Texas. There was a great deal of stress due to contentious union negotiations. When I challenged the leaders of Ed’s company to find a fun hobby to explore and enjoy, both to increase their energy and to nurture their creative spirit, Ed discovered the fun of creating with stain glass. He would doodle designs in the endless business meetings that are part of being a plant manager. And then go home and head to his work shop after dinner to enjoy executing his ideas.


When his colleagues discovered his new hobby and how prolific he had become designing in stained glass, they asked how in the world he found the time. He responded, “It’s easy! I look forward to working with this creative outlet in the time I used to spend just feeling tired.” He noted that as a result of this new-found interest, he rested better and enjoyed more energy, more patience, and better attitude.


Remember as kids when we would challenge each other gleefully with, “I double- dog dare you!” Well I double-dog dare you to go find a new special interest and enjoy it just for the fun of it! As you do, notice the quality and quantity of fresh energy you experience. When something is fun for us, our brain emits endorphins which thin the blood, open tiny capillaries and enhance not only our energy and intelligence but also our creativity, immune system and patience. We sleep better and become more intuitive.


In essence, child-like play is the magic that makes all of life more rewarding, fun and productive. What’s fun for you and when are you planning your next adventure?

I Double-Dog Dare You!!!

Left, Gary Kelly. CEO Soutwest Airlines.

Right, Scott Andrezjwski. Aircraft Mechanic.

Servant Leadership Going Global!

It was very encouraging to discover that our blog and website is being used by people from around the world.

Poland, Latvia, Russia, Canada, South Korea, the Netherlands, France, Pakistan, Turkey, and several countries in South America. We are both delighted and humbled to learn that our learning community is expanding to so many corners of our planet. The term, servant leadership, is coming into daily language as more and more companies are recruiting for people well suited to be a respectful, collaborative servant-leader. Marketing is picking up the language and selling products and services based on servant leadership as more and more people understand that a culture that is leaderful produces much better products and services. Southwest Airlines, a 21 year partner with AMCA, describes their culture as leading with a warrior spirit, servant’s heart and fun-luving attitude.

We’d love to receive comments, stories and questions from our readers. How are you using servant leadership? What are the benefits? What are the challenges? One of the most encouraging benefits is when we bring these skills and attitudes home to our families and friends. We become more collaborative, appreciative and fun to be with. Everyone benefits because high-trust teaming is contagious just as is judgmental, dictatorial one/way leadership.

We have a very gifted business friend and client who took her skills as a servant-leader to South Korea to a business culture that was unfamiliar with servant leadership and a traditional top-down, command and control culture. Within the first year of her arriving and teaching and modeling servant leadership, productivity began to improve significantly. The work teams began to learn to communicate by taking more ownership for their work. She helped them learn to replace blaming with being curious about what may have contributed to the mistakes and made it safe to explore all the various factors. People began to enjoy their work more. It is fascinating that when you introduce this spirit of respecting each other, defining common goals and agreeing of how we will work together to achieve these goals, the productivity and joy to accomplishing work improves significantly.

We know this leadership transformation is happening all around the world in organizations, and communities. Greg Mortenson’s work in Afghanistan as described in his two books, Three Cups of Tea and Stones into Schools, describes servant leadership in action. Please tell us your stories and/or just leave your comments. We’d love to know who is listening and recognize your good work.

Warm regards,

Ann and all of us at AMCA

The Unlimited Power of Community

Book Review of Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block

In my reading I have come upon three very powerful books that are awakening fresh insight and unlimited potential regarding most of our significant current challenges. The first is Community Building, edited by my good friend, Kazimierz Gozdz with articles by Peter Senge, Michael Ray and others. The second is The Abundant Community by John McKnight and Peter Block. And the third is Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block. If you can only read one, begin with the last one by Peter Block.

In it he describes the power of belonging and being needed. We have outsourced so many of our needs to “professionals” that so many of us have lost our sense of being able to contribute meaningfully. By delegating responsibilities out to professionals, an unintended consequence is our loss of full purpose and self actualization. For example, we have delegated teachers to educate the young, while doctors and nurses have been given responsibility to keep us well. Police and fire fighters are supposed to keep us safe. Our elected representatives are given responsibility to govern. And on and on. What has gotten lost in the shuffle is our own responsibility to own our part in each challenge. For example, no one can keep me healthy if I don’t assume responsibility for pro-active wellness. One of the most important dimensions of living a meaningful life is to discover and grow our many gifts making life better for all.


In the second section, he contrasts stuck communities with redemptive communities.


In a stuck community:
- "We are a community of problems to be solved. Those who can best articulate the problems and the solution dominate the conversation.
- The future is defined by the interplay of self-interest, dependent on the accountability of leaders, and controlled by a small number of wealthy and powerful people, commonly lumped into the category we call “they.”
- Community action is aimed at eliminating the sources of our fear. We aim at a set of needs and deficiencies. In order to eliminate fear and respond to the neediness of our people, we try harder at what we have been doing all long. We lock down neighborhoods, build more prisons, and reduce tolerance to zero. We call for better programs, more expertise, more funding, better leadership, stronger consequences, and more protection. We are committed to trying harder at what is not working.


In the restorative community we move from:
-Conversations about problems to ones of possibility.
- Conversations about fear and fault to ones of gifts, generosity, and abundance.
- A bet on law and oversight to a preference for building the social fabric and choosing accountability.
- Seeing the corporation and systems as central to seeing associational life as central.
- A focus on leaders to a focus on citizens.


All this moves us from having faith in professionals and those in positions of authority to having faith in our neighbors. It changes our mindset from valuing what is efficient to valuing the importance of belonging.” (Excerpts from Chapters 3 & 4)


Block shines a bright light on a huge gap in our current society. Educators can’t give us a great education without the help and support of parents and the person doing the learning. The most important gift we can give ourselves is to choose to become an engaged student for life. As someone who is profoundly dyslexic, I found this to be a huge challenge. All the traditional ways of learning were not my most fluent. And yet I learned in the second grade that if I could find a classmate who was struggling to learn a subject (say it was math) and I could listen for that person, then I could learn successfully. I am a social learner and I learn best in community. Block explains that when we separate the art of learning from the process of learning, our spirit withers. And each of us have unlimited gifts to contribute to everyone around us when we begin to step beyond the formal roles we have assigned to each other.


He gives a fascinating example of a counseling center who gave up Medicaid funding because it required them to name and place a disease on the head of each person. The director, Tricia Burke, believed that labels can be toxic and limiting. For example, a program for battered women was renamed Women of Worth. When other mental health clients were given responsibility to plan and organize how they would spend their free time in a day program, they began to thrive out of the sense of purpose, shared gifts and recognition that this huge challenge presented. Some began to teach police officers what it felt like to hear voices and hallucinate, a piece of information critical to their role of responding appropriately. They taught Ohio state legislators that people who have mental illness are much more than their illnesses and have a great deal to give back to the community. They organized a wellness activity and volunteered their services to an animal shelter…all of which grew personal self esteem for each participant.


One concept that especially spoke to me was about romanticizing leadership. It is so tempting to delegate all the complex challenges we face to our president, the CEO, whoever holds the highest position. Yet they will be unsuccessful without the good ideas, energy and collaborative support of all those within our communities. One person can make a huge difference and the discovery of personal possibility by rising to help others is the redemptive strength of self actualization.

I encourage you to enjoy your own discoveries by reading Peter’s new book and then begin the journey of inviting those around you to rediscover the sense of purpose that comes from creative collaboration. For too long we have huddled together to be critical of each other, and pointed fingers at all those in authority. Hopefully we each have known the pain of failure and have some compassion for having taken on a huge challenge only to fall short. But I am also hoping that each of us have dared to rise to a challenge that we could not turn away from, asked for help from others and discovered the break throughs when we dared to believe in the impossible and banded together to not stop until we have achieved our shared vision. This is why and how servant leadership is so powerful. When each of us chooses to become both a leader where we see opportunities to lead, and a follower who supports the success of those around us, in this spirit our lives and communities will thrive.

Get ready to discover new ways to think about community and be inspired to take action!

Ann McGee-Cooper

Heroes of the Heart: Southwest Airlines Honor a Group who Provide Extraordinary Internal Customer Service Behind the Scene

This was the 18th year for Southwest Airlines to gather at 10:30 am to celebrate an event created in their Culture Committee called Heroes of the Heart. Everyone comes wearing red. Big heart-shaped cookies are served. A quartet from the Marketing Team performed love songs and the big moment arrived.

A suspense filled video described the valor under pressure and importance of the mystery team about to be honored …those who are in charge of the mail, shipping and receiving. A large banner was unfurled announcing the winners as Distribution Services. The crowd applauded and whistled as one by one, their names are called and each is honored with a model of the SWA Heroes of the Heart plane and two gold passes to fly anywhere on Southwest Airlines. A luncheon is held in their honor and their pictures are taken with the special Heroes of the Heart plane which will fly for this year in their department’s honor. It’s a memorable event, symbolizing the abundant heart each Employee brings to their job each day.

Our Partner, Carol Haddock, worked all day Friday with a team inflating hundreds of balloons to make impressive arches, tall columns and long garlands to cover the stair rails. This is one of many creative, fun and heartwarming occasions where Leaders at Southwest Airlines recognize and appreciate Employees.

If you wonder what servant leadership is all about, this event is a good example. It means finding many ways, large and small, to express appreciation, make work fun, and share the LUV. Colleen Barrett, (under whose leadership this day was created) just wrote a new book with Ken Blanchard called, Lead with LUV. If you want to learn more about how and why Southwest continues to be successful, buy a copy. It’s an inspiring read!

Homa's Mom's Birthday

Homa's Mom's Birthday

By Homa Lewis

In our work on servant leadership, we have been exploring the link between our “self talk”, the attitudes we create, and the resulting outcomes of our efforts. It is a tough assignment for work, but it can be a REALLY tall order for our family life.

Recently, we went down to Wimberley, Texas to celebrate my Mother’s 80th birthday. Prior to going, I began to think about some of the challenges we were facing—a mother who didn’t want a party of any kind, some family ties that were a little strained, and an extended car trip with a two-year old! What I realized was that I had a choice in my self talk—I could worry and fret about all the things that could go wrong, or I could choose to envision a great time by all. Here’s what happened…

“Oh, Man!” became the key phrase of the weekend we celebrated my mother’s 80th birthday. My two-and-a-half-year old granddaughter uses this phrase randomly and by the time the weekend was over, nine adults followed suit.

It was quite the gathering. From my now 80-year-old mother who was born at home to my granddaughter who whizzes through her apps on my iPad. In between were my brother and his wife, me, two granddaughters, two grandsons, one granddaughter-in-law and one serious girlfriend. The Georgia contingent was still digging out from the Atlanta blizzard so it was just the Texas branches. However, everyone who couldn’t make it to the Hill Country called. My mother talked with her sister, brother, nieces and nephews in addition to all of her friends who called or came by.

 Going into the weekend was a little stressful. My mother, who has a fully filled social calendar, didn’t want any kind of celebration-no party, no open house, no cocktail hour. This frustrated her grandkids who wanted a full-blown party. She finally agreed to dine out with the family and one friend. It wasn’t until my younger daughter and I were on the road to her home that she even told us what kind of cake she wanted.

Adding to the stress was the knowledge that some of the family ties were a little strained. Would we all be able to get along long enough to celebrate? This gave me an opportunity to practice assuming goodwill and creating a positive field of intention. All the way down, I imagined us all having a good time, surrounding my mother with all of the love she deserved.

And it worked. Helped along with the great-granddaughter’s phrases (she went up to my mother one time and told her she was “awesome”) and the surprise showing of home movies. The grandkids enjoyed seeing their parents as small kids as well as their grandparents as young parents. There was a lot of laughter as we pointed out resemblances, told stories and answered questions. My brother and I laughed at our own antics as well as the amount of time my dad spent filming airplanes, in whole or in parts (he loved the Blue Angels). My mother shared some new stories with all of us. By the time the night ended, we were a closer family. And I realized just how powerful the stories I tell myself in advance are to the outcome of what I experience. So now I have precious new gift ….and personal responsibility. Learning to assume good will can open hearts and minds, mine included!
 

Reflections on Celebrating the Holidays

The first of a new year always invites reflection. I confess that I have been thinking about how I celebrate the holidays for several years. The traditional image of a tree loaded with gifts below it and the opening of the packages followed by clean up. Several trash bags filled with wrapping paper and ribbons, boxed and styrafoam peanuts now headed for the land fill. And in the alley all up and down our block there is an avalanche of garbage headed for the land fill. And yet there is no “away”. On our precious planet there is only so much space, clean air, pure water, fertile land and green forests. When these are fouled we all suffer.

I have lamented over the commercialization of the holidays. For me it is Christmas but whatever is being celebrated, the stores are filled with sales and the parking lots jammed with shoppers. I have never liked this part of December yet was I willing to change the only person I can change….myself?

It began six years ago. As a grandmother I realized that all our extended family had more than our share of wealth and things. I would search for the right gift for each person but more times than not, I would end up giving something they may or may not need or want. They would smile and thank me and appreciate the thought. But was there another way we might celebrate?

And then I learned about Chiapas, which is a micro-lending program where very small loans of $50.00 to begin with are given to a woman living on less than $2.00 a day. She is teamed with four other women. Together they agree that no one of them can receive a second loan until all four have repaid their first loan. So if a husband wants to take his wife’s money that was intended as a business loan to buy six chickens and start an egg business or some basket materials to weave and sell baskets, and he wants to take the money and buy beer, then four other husbands show up to persuade the intended beer drinker to return the money. In essence, a small group working as a team soon becomes five small businesses thriving on the synergy of each other’s support.

I loved this concept and wanted to contribute. What if I used the money I would normally spend on gifts for our family and instead, make a micro loan in the name of each family member? We could replace buying more “things” with giving each other the gift of hope. But would my young grandchildren understand? And would they join in a feeling of giving to others rather than adding in our own already blessed life?

I’m not sure why I worried because I was wrong. From the first Christmas every member of our extended family loved the idea. And now each year we enjoy finding worthy causes such as Greg Mortenson’s schools for girls he is helping to build in Afghanistan. He tells this story in his book, Three Cups of Tea.

This year was a refreshing new experience. There was no getting stuck in traffic in crowded shopping malls. There was no last minute rush. And no mountain of garbage after all the gifts were opened. The gifts were letters of love, expressing memories of gratitude and joy as we recounted to many blessings from each person’s life. And then mention of the gift being given in the name of the family member. “A woman and her family will have hope and a permanent way out of poverty in your name.” “Children will have a school where they can learn and have a hopeful future thanks to a gift in your name.” “Fifty Life-Straws will be given, each to a person who will then have clean, healthy drinking water for a year, as a gift in your honor.”

As Gandhi said, we must be the change we want to see in the world. I am amazed that I made lots of excuses and resisted in many ways, small and large. Yet in the end the gift came back to me. When I dared to believe it could be different and more connected to the kind of hopeful, peaceful world I long for, one where there is no poverty and everyone has a sustainable future, I could make a difference, one small gift at a time. And so it was!